I’m 27 and the discussion had recently was based on the fact that I have only ever had one lover.

I couldn’t understand why some people were shocked at this? And others indicated it meant I was “sexually inexperienced” (which to my surprise, some people actually found attractive and a ‘challenge’). See, I live a life that comes with a great deal of challenges and the person that has stood by my side throughout that holds the top pedestal without a doubt. There a few people who would have been able to keep me together through everything I have been through, everything my family has been through – and that was evidenced with friendships and family relationships. So it was through that, I knew I had something, and someone, I had to cherish.

Sexual autonomy is something I value and I do not believe the number of sexual partners is representative of sexual worth, and believe me that I am evidence it is not representative of sexual experience. Many have been interested in the intimate side of my relationship which is far from conservative.

The fact that I have also read being with one lover effects growth, I can truly say this is not the case. The difficulties and emotional maturity of being in a relationship beyond 10 years means that naturally you are going to grow with life’s challenges. It has meant, like my poem ‘Stranger’, I have had to learn to love someone all over again. And so has he.

I have seen friends go through heart brake repeatedly. I have seen friends go through pregnancy scares, affairs, break ups, never feeling “enough”, sexual health clinics, and even domestic abuse. And throughout all of that I have known that soon, they’ll find someone that they know is the one. They’ll find someone they can share experiences with. Someone who will learn to love every part of them. Someone they will share their future with and grow with. I truly feel exceptionally lucky to have found that so early in my life, and to have held on to it.

What the future holds? Who knows? But I am happy. I am complete.